Bassets with Erections Can't
Climb Stairs
Each night she's on the balcony, he loves her from afar
His soft, sad eyes are hypnotized, she shines down like a star.
His heart will break forever; his kind can't have affairs
For Bassets with erections can't climb stairs.
His home a humble bungalow and hers a penthouse flat
He cannot go where she can go and that, they say, is that.
He never can be near her, although she knows he cares,
For Bassets with erections can't climb stairs.
You want to win a woman? Just be cool, be aloof
The dog who doesn't hit the stairs can make it to the roof.
The dog who doesn't care will be the dog who wins the day
You'll never get to heaven with your chopper in the way.
The spirit soars, the body falls, and heavy lies the heart
That cries out with the pangs of love, "Be still my broken part" --
How painful is the passion, and how painful the repairs,
For Bassets with erections can't climb stairs.
- author unknown -